Sunday, September 7, 2008


I'm really bothered lately. Bothered by the fact that I am 36 years old and constantly struggle with my beliefs. I am Christian (I don't struggle with that). I guess my struggle is with the fact that I know as a Christian we believe when we die, we either go to one place or another. I would like to go to Heaven. What if I'm not good enough to go there. I guess I think about this more now than ever because I am a mother. What if something happened to me? What would happen to my son? I know he would be well taken care of, but these thoughts often consume my mind.

We started a new book in our Sunday school class today which basically talks about Methodist beliefs, etc. One of the first questions in chapter 1 was about evolution and how do Methodists view evolution. Oh and the message in church today was about "blessed hope". Blessed hope gives Christians hope to look forward to after this life. At least that's the interpretation that I got from it. It was almost as if God was speaking directly to me through our pastor letting me know that I don't need to be afraid, but I am. Does anyone else ever feel this way or think about things like this?

Okay, so I guess I will write about crafts..I've spent the majority of this evening making greeting cards. I made 5 Halloween cards and a lot of Thanksgiving cards. I'll post some pics tomorrow.

Sorry if my post seems a bit negative. It's just that I am confronted with this fear quite often and I'm just scared. I really don't know why.

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